


come back into the good life

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, M/M, idk what to tag this as tbqh, the nelena is literally minimal idek if it should have that tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 14:12:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6960301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We’ll have everything we’ve ever dreamed of. Just you wait.”</p><p>Louis smiles a little, “isn’t that what we always say?”</p><p>“But this time, we’ll actually have the money.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	come back into the good life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [disequilibrium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/disequilibrium/gifts).



> I feel like this strayed away quite a bit from the idea you had in your head when you wrote this prompt - or maybe not? But I hope it semi did it justice <3 I love you and I hope you enjoy this as much as I did coming up with it.  
> Thanks to the mods for setting up this exchange, it was definitely a fun way to kick off my summer!

Lucky. Louis’ heard the word a lot, heard that he’s one of the lucky ones. Two years doesn’t compare to the weight that sat on some of his companion’s shoulders. Two years, in theory, is supposed to be breeze. No matter how many times he’s been told he’s one of the lucky ones, time had seemed to drag by. Restlessness had settled in long before he could ever see the end. It had been a waiting game, one that he had not played well. Patience had never been his strongest link, and that was exactly how he had ended up here. He hadn’t been able to wait just a few more minutes, he hadn’t been able to waste any more time just standing around doing nothing.  It was the same story every time, a momentary lapse of judgement that had ended with him behind bars on more than one occasion.

But today, it all ends.

It had felt like a faraway dream, thinking of the day his sentence came to an end. Now that the day finally arrived, Louis feels oddly hopeful about it all. The feeling is one that’s almost foreign, one that stayed tucked away behind bars the moment the doors had closed behind him. He’s never done well with routine, and trapped in a place that functions solely off of it had been enough. It had only been two years, but with the hours that the days had lasted made it felt like so much more.

Louis sits up in his bunk, watching the sun begin to peak through the barred windows. He feels lucky now, for the first time since he got here. Knowing that this is the last time he’ll have to sit here and wait for the morning to properly start. He runs his hands over the rough material of the sheets, anticipates the moment he’ll be able to climb into his own bed. Even if he isn’t entirely sure where his bed will be now. There were so many little things that he had missed, so many little things that would be his again in just a few more hours. He closes his eyes, and for a moment, he allows himself to feel at ease for the first time in a long time.

The morning falls into the same routine of bleary eyes and shuffling to and from the bathroom. It isn’t until breakfast that he finds Zayn, sitting off at a table to himself. Louis looks down at his tray, feeling a bit lighter at the realization that this will be the last bleak breakfast he’ll have to eat. He sits heavily beside his friend, looking him over where he pushes around the porridge in his bowl.

Louis doesn’t think he sees him, not until he speaks.

“Today’s the day, isn’t it?”

Louis grins, shovelling a messy spoonful of porridge in his mouth.

“It is.”

Zayn offers him a little smile, averting his gaze back down to his spoon. He doesn’t usually say much, but there’s some sort of anticipation sitting in the air. Louis leans over, giving him a little nudge with his elbow.

“It’ll be you before you know it. You only have like what? A month left?”

He still remembers the day that Zayn showed up. All messy haired and relatively quiet compared to some of the others. He hadn’t been in for something big, just six months. There was something about how reassuringly quiet Zayn was that had lured Louis to him. He’s the closest thing he had to a friend in here.  But Louis knows better than to make friends. He carries that rule with him everywhere he goes.

Zayn shrugs, eyeing him when he takes another bite of his porridge. “I don’t know how you can eat that.”

“It’s my farewell to the system.”

He rolls his eyes at him, and Louis glances over at him smugly.

“You’ll miss me.”

“Not really.”

Louis will miss him. Even if he knows better than to develop relationships where such emotion can be present. Zayn was one of the better ones. He reminds Louis a bit of himself, maybe that’s why they manage to get along so well. Breakfast is usually quiet between them, and the day is no exception until Louis is scraping the rest of the gloopy porridge from the sides of his bowls.

“Don’t get caught again,” Zayn tells him, quiet and oddly stern.

Louis waits until he lowers the spoon from his lips. He smiles coyly at the boy sitting near him, holding eye contact for a few beats longer than he usually would.

“I won’t if you don’t. Your art is lovely, I’m sure - but maybe stick to less important buildings next time.”

Zayn doesn’t answer, but it feels like some sort of promise.

\--

Even if it isn’t the first time, the process of filling out the paperwork feels almost foreign to him. The usual anticipation sits heavy on his shoulders, whispering impatiently in his ear to get going. The final step in all of this. The messy ink of his signature scrawled across the page is a silent promise to himself, one that says he won’t find himself back here again. Louis tries to learn from his mistakes, and two years had been far too long. Months he can handle, something Louis had grown comfortable with in the few times he ended up in this position. Pushing past a year had felt like an eternity, and another on top of that had been too long. The promise of freedom is a surprising heavy weight on his shoulders. He has questions, ones that have answers that no one in the prison can answer. After two years, he’ll finally get the proper answers. Louis ignores the ache in his chest, the one that tries to guide him to get out of here faster.

He double checks that he’s gotten everything filled out, makes sure to thank her again for her time and patience before looking off toward the exit. Two years of anticipation finally dwindled down to the   final moment, and Louis almost isn’t sure what to do. His feet don’t quite connect to his brain right away as he stands there, even with relief settling through his pores into his bones. He takes a deep breath, reminds himself that this is all really happening before finally starting for the door.

The sun is brighter than he anticipates when he steps out. He blames his brain for playing tricks on him, that the world really isn’t painted in bolder and brighter colours since he’s stepped outside for the first time beyond prison walls. He brings a hand across his brow, spotting Liam almost immediately.

It wouldn’t make sense for anyone else to be there waiting, perfectly on time and ready to leave.

“Payno,” he greets, unable to keep the fondness from sinking into his voice. He swallows past the tightness to his throat, hurrying the last step to embrace him tightly.

Liam’s reply is muffled against his shoulder, and Louis squeezes him tighter. He doesn’t need to make out what he says, he knows exactly what the greeting is without hearing it clearly. Louis lets his eyes fall closed, tucking his face against his shoulder in return. It’s warm, it’s comforting – he’s overwhelmed with the same comfort of stepping through the front door after a long day out. He runs his hands over Liam’s back, only stepping back when Liam begins to pull away.

“The sun came out for you,” Liam informs him, and Louis rolls his eyes.

“How are you?” Louis asks, giving Liam a bump with his elbow.

Louis appreciates that Liam begins to start for the car. He spares the building one last glance over his shoulder, knows that the feeling won’t fully register until they finally drive through the gates. He lets out another breath, listening to his friend as he fills him in on the events of the past few weeks. Liam was always the best about visiting, something that the others had seemed to grow increasingly worse at as time went on. He climbs into the car, pulling his seatbelt across his torso before completely letting himself melt into the padded seats. It’s a lot more comfortable than anything he’s sat on in a long time.

He leans his head against the seat, watching as they begin their descent away from the prison. It isn’t until they’ve driven through the gates that he finally allows himself to relax again. He’s really free now, there’s no going back. He laughs quietly to himself at the fact, feeling giddy as it begins to truly register that life can continue to go on with him back in the picture.

“So, how was it?” Liam asks after a moment, as if he hadn’t gotten continual updates the entire time. There’s something different about his tone, now that conversations aren’t monitored and they’re finally both truly alone.

“Boring? Suppose it could have been a lot worse. Two years isn’t much compared to some of the lads. I had an honours cell, too. Got to watch a bit of telly, even if the channels were rubbish.” Louis stretches his legs out more, glancing over at his companion before continuing on, “still doesn’t feel real that I don’t have to go back.”

The rest of the car ride is relatively quiet. Louis watches as the city dissolves into the hillside. He hasn’t heard much about where the boys are now, knows that they moved around a bit after his arrest. Louis doesn’t mind the scenery and the quiet hum of the radio, but doesn’t fail to notice the stiffness to Liam’s posture. There’s something about the silence that feels like anticipation, as if Liam’s waiting for the question that lingers in the back of his mind. Louis doesn’t ask, no matter how much he’s dying to – Liam’s never the one to give answers. He stays quiet, letting the anticipation sit around the question that never comes.

\--

Louis looks over the house in front of him, shoving his hands in his pockets as Liam leads him up the driveway.

“It isn’t much,” Liam offers, fiddling with the lock a few times before the door finally swings open. “It’s home for now, though.”

He knows the routine, knows that for now is as good as it’ll ever get.

He’s barely gotten his shoes off when Harry appears around the corner, hearing their arrival before Louis could even ask where he was at. His hair is tucked back in a messy bun, shirt barely done up a button before his bellybutton. Normally Louis would laugh, but it’s been so long and Harry brightens up the moment he sees him, trotting the last few steps to pull him into a tight hug. He lets out a slow breath, nose pressing into his collarbone, hands curling in the loose material of his shirt.  It’s the moment where everything finally sinks in, and Louis finally realizes he’s almost at home again.

“Missed you,” Harry breathes into his ear, a hand curling through the hair at the base of his neck.

“Missed you too.”

The conversation is short, a few apologies back and forth about not being able to talk more before Harry begins to show him around the place. Louis notices the dishes still sitting in the sink, the way the kitchen is a mess and living room still has dirty mugs sitting on the coffee table. It’s a telltale sign of Niall being gone, the answer to the wordless question that continues to nag away at him.

Harry’s always the one that gives him answers. He knows Harry will tell him.

\--

It isn’t until later that night that Harry finally tells him. He’s standing out on the back porch, carefully avoiding a few broken boards with a cigarette between his lips. Harry’s still sitting close to him, reading some novel. Liam’s making some sort of fry up back in the kitchen, he can smell it wafting through the house. Louis finally looks over at Harry, exhales a mouthful of smoke before finally asking the inevitable: “where’s Niall?”

Harry doesn’t seem phased by the question. Louis assumes he was probably waiting for it. He lowers the book back down to the table in front of him, stretching out across the chair more.

“We… we don’t know.”

It doesn’t register right away, and when it does Louis feels like the air is knocked right out of his lungs. He coughs a few times, stubbing the cigarette out against the side of the house before stepping closer to Harry.

“What do you mean you _don’t_ know?”

Harry nibbles at his lip, shifting in his chair. He averts his gaze, diverting his attention to a loose thread attached to a button on his shirt. Louis’ gaze remains steady, unwavering. Tries to tell himself not to panic, tries to tell himself that Niall’s probably just fine.

Louis tries not to think about the days that he spent wondering why Niall hadn’t come to see him. He tries not to remember the sinking in his stomach when another day would roll around and Niall wouldn’t be seen. It wasn’t like him not to visit, it wasn’t like Niall to be the calm, rational one through all of this.  He should have been there at every given change, should have been there muttering carefully calculated plans to Louis. As much as he doesn’t want to remember the feelings, he remembers all too well. The disappointment, the anxiety – all too familiar, and suddenly all too present.

“Look, Lou,” Harry begins, slow and calm. It snaps Louis out of his head and back to the current situation. Niall isn’t here, that’s why he hadn’t ever stepped foot inside the prison. It’s an answer that gives him little relief.

“You know you two were supposed to go to Vienna before all… this happened.” Harry gestures vaguely before folding his hands over his stomach. “Niall still went, you know how he is. About three months after he left we just… stopped hearing from him. He went completely ghost. He called and asked about you, and if there was anything new. That was the last we heard from him. No one’s heard from him since.”

Louis’ mouth is dry. He swallows hard a few times, staring at Harry in disbelief. They stopped hearing from him, just like that.

“And no one told me? Did anyone go looking for him?”

He struggles to keep his voice low and even, knows that the words came out louder than he had intended.

“We couldn’t tell you, Louis. Not there.”

Harry’s voice is annoyingly calm, and it takes more willpower than it should for Louis not to smack him.

“ _Harry_. Did anyone go _looking_ for him?” Louis repeats, voice raising with every word. He struggles to keep his voice calm. He’s aware of Liam hovering in the doorway now, feels his weary gaze on him as he stares over at his friend.

“It wasn’t that we didn’t want to-“

“No one went looking for him!”

Harry drops his gaze again, playing with a button on his shirt. Everything feels like it’s moving too quickly around him, and Louis takes in a gasping breath.

“What the _fuck_ you guys!”

Liam puts a hand on his shoulder, one that Louis tries to shrug off.

“He’s been missing for two years. Two years! Neither of you went looking for him!”

“Louis,” Liam says, voice firm. His fingers dig into Louis’ shoulder more, despite his best attempt to shrug his hand off.

“No, Liam,” Louis hisses. “It’s been two years. He’s been _missing_ for two years! Did it ever cross your mind that something could have damn well happened to him? It’s Niall.”

Liam rubs his fingers down in a gesture that Louis assumes is supposed to be soothing.

“Exactly, it’s _Niall_ ,” he says, in the same annoyingly calm tone that Harry had been using. Louis wonders for just a brief moment if they’ve been practicing what they were going to say to him. The thought is fleeting, because Niall’s been missing and clearly none of them have found it to be all that concerning. “He’s probably fine. He can take care of himself better than the lot of us.”

Harry chimes in, “we got a hold of a few contacts there, but no one’s heard anything. It’s not like we didn’t try. We’re still trying, too. You know how he gets, he’s focused.”

His lips curl into a sneer as he looks over at Harry, eyebrows raising high. “Focused for _two_ years? The job we were supposed to do should have taken _maybe_ three months.”

“Niall’s smart. He isn’t going to give himself away. You know that things can take longer than planned. If anything happened to him, we’d know.”

Louis stares at Liam in disbelief, jerking his arm free of his grasp.

“If anything happened to him you’d _know_? No, Liam, neither of you would know.”

He doesn’t trust himself to stay longer. He looks between the two of them, lips pressed together in a thin line before turning back into the house. Coming home wasn’t supposed to feel this way. There had been so many different ways he had imagined this moment over the past two years, though neither of them had been like this. He barely catches Liam calling behind him that his room is upstairs, the first bedroom on the right.

The stairs creak under his weight as he hops up them. He has no intention on joining them for dinner now, the earlier hunger at the promise of a home cooked meal long gone. He feels sick now, stomach wound tightly in knots. Louis had always had his suspicions to why Niall had never been around. He had chalked them all down to different versions of him being gone out on another mission. Job after job, it was the only reason that Louis could justify Niall not seeing him. Not the fact he’s been missing as far as Liam and Harry know for the past two years. Louis sinks down into his bed, covering his face with his hands. It’s an improvement from the thin mattress that had been his bed over the past twenty four months, but Louis can’t focus on anything else than the empty spot beside him where Niall used to be.

He can hear the low chatter downstairs, the clinking of dishes being put in the sink. Sun is still trying to peak through the curtains, and Louis knows that it’s early to sleep. Though sleep is the last thing on his mind. Louis knows what he has to do, there isn’t any other option. He needs to find him.

Louis doesn’t sleep, rather watches the room grow dark as he tries to piece together exactly how he’s going to find him.

\--

Sleep was futile that night. Louis isn’t sure how he even manages to drift off, but every time he wakes back up he resumes staring at the ceiling, settling into the plan that he needs to leave. Louis always imagined his first night home a lot differently than last night. Sleep had actually been involved in all of the times that had envisioned the first time he slept back in his own bed. There’s the smell of bacon drifting the stairs, it’s a wake up that is much different from the redundant routine his life had been for two years. If the circumstances were different, Louis would have been overjoyed waking up to breakfast hot on the stove.

Harry’s leaning against the counter, lazily flipping through the pages of the paper. His shirt is hanging off his shoulders, hair still tucked back in a style similar to yesterday. Louis is almost positive he isn’t reading it. He offers him an easy smile as he steps into the kitchen, noticing a steaming cup of tea beside him. Harry slides it close to him, giving him a firm nod.

“Morning.”

Louis curls his hands around the steaming mug of tea, there’s a moment where fondness seems to take over the earlier frustration for just a moment. It’s exactly the way he likes it, even after all this time. He brings the mug closer to his lips, blowing at the hot tea before looking over at where Liam’s standing.

“Breakfast?” Liam offers when their eyes meet.

If it hadn’t been Niall missing, Louis would feel bad for the way he reacted last night. But it was Niall, the person who was the exception to all the rules he had made for himself. The person that seemed to know him better than anyone else in the entire world. The fact he’s gone and no bigger effort has been made to find him is one that he can’t wrap his mind around. He nods his head once at Liam, finally taking a slow sip of his tea.

The air between them lacks any form of tension, clearly his less than desirable reaction had completely blown over between the two boys.

“What’re you making?” Louis asks, keeping the mug of tea close to his mouth.

“I’m going for a more American style breakfast. Bacon and eggs, maybe toast if you want.”

He wonders if it’s nostalgia feeding that decision, but he doesn’t ask.  Rather, he replies: “Sounds a whole lot better than porridge.”

They fall back into the same morning routine, chatting back and forth about different jobs that Louis had missed. For a moment, it feels like Louis hadn’t been a way for a day. Breakfast is a nice change, one of the little things that he could finally take a moment to think about and realize how much he missed. He pushes the eggs around his plate, listening to the other boys chew in silence.

“I’m going to Vienna,” Louis announces around a mouthful of bacon. There was no good time to tell them his plan. The sooner the better seeming like the most plausible and reasonable time.

Neither of the boys look surprised. Louis raises his eyebrows, looking between them as if they’re going to challenge his decision.

Harry glances between them, finally setting the paper down.

“It’s been almost two years… we don’t know if he’s actually still there.”

“I know,” Louis replies, giving them a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s more than what’s been done. It’s a start. I know what he went there to do, once I get there hopefully the pieces will fall together.”

He knows Niall, knows him like the back of his hand. He likes to think that when he finds himself in the situation that he’ll be able to figure out where he went and how he managed to get away.

“That’s a bit of a gamble, mate,” Liam says softly.

Louis ignores the gentleness to his words, cocking an eyebrow over at him.

“It’s better than nothing. I’m not just going to roll over and hope he shows back up here by some miracle.”

Harry and Liam exchange a glance that Louis chooses to ignore. It might be a bit of a wild goose chase, he’s aware of that. Sitting around isn’t an option anymore. His lips curl a bit at the thought. He still can’t believe the two of them have been sitting ducks the entire time, somehow going on about their days with the knowledge that Niall was gone and neither of them knew where.

He had tried to reason it all out in a number of ways the previous night. No excuse had come up as one good enough. Louis had narrowed it down to their relationships with Niall being different than his, he wasn’t the person that completely had their backs at the end of the day. He wasn’t their person that made everything in their life make sense, like some sort of ragged missing puzzle piece. It was always a nice thought, that four misfits would have each other’s back no matter what. But they were all smarter than that, they knew that there were ultimatums when push came to shove. Louis just couldn’t fathom that when push came to shove, their effort to make sure Niall had been minimal.

Niall would have tried harder had the roles been reversed.

Louis chews another piece of bacon carefully, looking between his two companions again. The silence that slipped between them isn’t comfortable. It’s suffocating and makes Louis all too aware of everything that’s happening.

“So. You said you had contacts in Vienna? I want to get a hold of them,” he begins. “I’m also going to need to know whatever you know.”

 It’s a given, he knows. But something between them all has a feeling of uncertainty, and Louis can’t help but to point that out.

Liam sighs, sinking down in his chair more. He holds eye contact with Louis for an uncomfortably long minute before dropping his hands on the table. “We’ve basically told you everything we know.”

Louis raises an eyebrow, watching Liam expectantly and leaving the rest of his food untouched.

Liam takes a deep breath, brings his cup of tea to his lips before he begins to speak again.

\--

He sits out on the deck that night, overlooking the tiny backyard with Harry leaning against the house behind him.

“You realize we aren’t going to let you go alone, right?”

He looks back over at his friend, bringing his beer to his mouth.

“That so?” He asks, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips up.

“Of course.”

Harry shakes his head, taking a step closer to him. He curls a hand around his shoulder, fingers stroking the skin above his collarbone in a gesture that feels half apologetic.

“It’s about time we all got back in the game together, don’t you think?”

\--

Louis tries not to think about decisions once he’s made them. It was the thing that usually got him into trouble. He tries his best not to think about everything that’s happening as he stares out the plane window. His own determination hadn’t allowed him to think about anything else than finding Niall. There’s nothing like being a thousand feet in the air to allow doubt to creep back into his mind, all the little insecurities that he had tried to leave on the ground creeping back into his mind. What if Niall didn’t want to be found? He had scoffed when Liam had said it, but it was a point that had ingrained itself in the back of his mind until now.

Niall wouldn’t leave him, Niall wouldn’t go somewhere and not want Louis to find him. The other boys may be a different story, but he wouldn’t want Louis not to find him. The court case had torn him up enough, Louis remembers all too well the feeling of his lips against his and Niall’s shaky murmurs of reassurance that everything would be okay. He hadn’t seen Niall since then though, he hadn’t seem Niall since that night despite his promises that he would come and seen him. Louis knows that time and a lack of sleep together makes his thoughts a liar, but there’s the suffocating feeling of doubt that begins to have him question if maybe Niall couldn’t handle the time. That maybe Vienna had promised something to Niall hat Louis couldn’t.

 It’s a feeling that lingers, one that nags him even when he tries not to think about anything. It’s easier that way. Instead, he lets himself think about the way Niall used to curl against him when they’d fall asleep, or the way his face would light up in a way that only he ever got to see when his finger would pull a trigger. His absence is something that sits heavier than Louis cares to admit, and he can feel it spreading through him again with every breath.

The plane ride drags on longer than it should. A long breath escapes his lips once the plane finally hits the tarmac. There’s always a certain thrill to flying, especially when it came to landings. Louis looks around the sleek interior of the airport, adjusting his bag over his shoulder as Liam talks lowly on the phone with someone. Liam was always a step ahead of them, and Louis appreciated that about him. He hasn’t found it in himself to forgive the two of them just yet, but with Harry beside him and Liam a few steps in front – it’s hard not to feel a bit less animosity toward the two. They were trying now, even if their best attempt before had been far from satisfactory.

Liam looks over his shoulder once he’s disconnected the call, eyes shaded from his sunglasses. Louis can’t read his expression.

“I found somewhere for us to crash tonight. An old friend of a friend, he’s pretty familiar with the area so that’s probably our best place to start.”

Louis shrugs, “anywhere is a good place to start.”

They were here and not sitting in some crammed house tucked away in the countryside hills. It was a much bigger improvement from the situation they had been in yesterday. He pushes his sunglasses back down his face, giving the airport one last look over his shoulder before following step after Liam outside.

There’s a cab parked outside, wipers lazily scraping across the windshield. The rain isn’t hard enough for him to pull his hood over his head, but he climbs into the taxi clumsily between Liam and Harry. There’s a moment of nostalgia, crammed between the two of them. He remembers the days where it would have been Harry stretched out in the front, with Niall curled into his side looking out the window and Liam going over plans for the day.

Harry tries to chat amicably with the driver, going off on some tale that they’re visiting an old friend and seeing the country while they’re at it. Louis closes his eyes, quietly hoping that this actually works. He doesn’t want to think of the alternative. He knows one thing for sure, despite if Harry and Liam are with him – he isn’t going back until he finds Niall and knows he’s okay.

\--

In hindsight, Louis would have preferred holing up in some cheap motel. Liam’s friend, or whatever their relationship is, is kind. He tells them some of the desirable places around the city, some of the things that he personally recommends. It’s a kindness that Louis may have appreciated if the situation was different. He’s anxious to get things going, sitting here sipping some sort of beer feels static. He knows everything happens in good time, but Louis had never been the patient one.

It was, after all, the thing that got him into the most trouble.

He doesn’t know how Harry and Liam are able to be so still, how they’re able to sit out and let everything happen to plan. Niall was good at it, too. He was always the more level headed when the two of them were together. Sometimes plans didn’t work out, and Louis was always good being the quick thinker. He didn’t want to wait now, he wanted to be away from the cozy living room and out on the streets lined with old styled buildings.

Louis’ attention is brought back to the conversation when Liam’s friend mentions a few popular bars that offer live music on the weekends. It feels something like a start. He remembers the late night conversations, tangled under a cotton sheet with faint moonlight streaming through the curtains – he remembers the way Niall’s fingers would run along his chest, murmuring if he had picked another life that he would try and make it as a singer.

It’s probably a long shot. It feels like something that would be too big. He looks over at Harry where he’s stretched out over the couch, two fingers pressed against his lip as he listens to the conversation.

“I want to start there,” Louis tells him lowly.

Harry looks confused for just a moment, before shrugging it off.

“Okay,” he replies, focusing back on the conversation again.

He doesn’t get it, but Louis doesn’t need him to.

The night continues on with mindless chatter that Louis doesn’t pay much attention to. He’s ready to get going. Stagnant moments are ones that he knows he needs to learn to tolerate better. It’s aimless chatter and another round beer before Louis pushes himself up.

“Well, lads. I think I’m going to call it a night.”

He pauses, looking over at Liam’s friend – Andy, he thinks, but he wasn’t paying enough attention to remember. “Thank you, again,” he tells him, offering him a ghost of a smile. He’s about to up and leave when he has a spur of the moment thought, one that has him turning back around to face Liam’s friend again.

“Say, you’ve lived here for a while, right?”

Andy nods, “going on four years, now.”

It’s a long shot, it’s probably stupid. Louis knows it is, but he’s clumsily pulling his old phone out of his pocket, pulling up some of the old pictures of Niall that he’s managed to save even going through multiple phones.

“We’re trying to catch up with an old friend that we’ve lost contact with. It’s been about two years, now.”

He ignores Liam and Harry’s eyes on him as he holds his phone out toward Andy.

“Probably a long shot in a big city. Does he look familiar to you?”

Andy takes his phone, squinting at the screen. He gives Louis and apologetic look before stretching the phone back out toward him.

“No, sorry man.”

Louis reaches for it, but Andy pulls it back again.

“Actually, wait.”

 His eyebrows shoot up, watching him intently. Maybe, just maybe this is a start. Andy looks up at him, brow furrowed before putting the phone in his hand again.

“He looks kind of familiar. I’m not sure where, though.”

Louis smiles pleasantly, pocketing his phone again.  Maybe he’s just saying it to make him feel better, maybe it’s just false hope. He doesn’t know what it is, but he chooses to be optimistic. He’s taking it as a good sign, even if the chances of it being Niall are probably more unlikely than they are likely.

He thanks him again, tells the boys goodnight before disappearing up the creaking stairs to call it a night.

\--

The bars in Vienna are lovely, but disappointment weighs too heavy on his shoulders for him to find any sort of enjoyment in them. The drinks were good, the music was good – but after weeks of trying, finding Niall is proving to be an unsuccessful mission. Liam tries to be in good spirits about it all, telling Louis over and over again that they just need to try and keep finding a plan. He appreciates the optimism, appreciates how hard the boys are trying even though it’s beginning to feel harder and harder to breathe. He’s doubting himself, doubting that he’s dragged them over the ocean on a chase that he should have done alone.

He wants to stay mad at them, but he knows his reasons are selfish. It was a gamble at best. It had all been the loneliness feeding his anger. He missed him. He missed the late nights of quiet plans, of how one day they would make it big – just the two of them. Their plans never involved Liam and Harry in the end, it was always the two of them. Now he was on his own, and Liam and Harry were being all too generous about the chase.

They deserve another round of drinks tonight, Louis decides. He leans against the bar, waiting for the bartender to make his way back over to him. He doesn’t notice the girl beside him, dark hair and eyes waiting patiently by the bar beside him. He hears the lull of a guitar, the loud chatter of people sitting a few feet away. Louis straightens up impatiently, taking a half second longer than it should to realize that he’s elbowed someone in the process.

He looks over at the girl, giving her an apologetic smile. He puts a hand on her shoulder, an empty apologetic gesture. “Sorry, love.”

She doesn’t seem too offended, just smiles prettily at him.

“It’s fine! I should have been paying more attention.”

A typical answer, Louis notes. He’s heard that one too many times. The bartender slides three beer toward him, and gives him a nod before digging into his pocket. He fumbles a little with the euros before handing them over. He wishes he would have thought over the whole other round thing better, trying to navigate through the crowd back to the cozy table they had huddled up at was beginning to look like a bigger challenge than he originally anticipated.

He’s focused on the stupid beer, not noticing that someone’s come up behind the girl and slipped a hand on her waist.

“Everything alright?”

Louis doesn’t even have to think twice to know who voice the voice belongs to. Everything in his body suddenly feels cold, as if he had been plunged into a pool of ice water. His head snaps up, and he looks over at the man standing behind her a bit dumbfounded. Blue eyes meet his own, and there’s a sickening moment where he can’t breathe and everything around him seems to go out of focus.

He can’t speak, not for a long moment. It still doesn’t register that he’s standing there in front of him. His hair is dark – the normal blond gone now. Louis swallows hard. He doesn’t have to wonder if Niall knows, because he does. He can see him staring back at him with the same intensity.

Unsurprisingly, Niall’s the one that’s most composed than he is. He draws the girl closer, and Louis can’t help the way his stomach turns.

“Why don’t you go sit down? I’ll grab the drinks.”

She smiles at him, giving him a quick peck before stepping away from the bar.

Louis can’t stop himself, the words are coming before he even realises: “what the _fuck_.”

The corner of Niall’s lips slowly raise, and Louis shakes his head at him.

“I missed you too.”

He wants to punch him, and hug him both at the same time. Niall doesn’t give him a chance to weigh out the options. He steps close to him, giving him a pat on the back before letting an arm slide around him. It’s hard not to sink into him, to hug him as tightly as he wants to. Louis leans in, wrapping his arms carefully around his thin frame. For a moment, he lets himself feel at ease.

“What the fuck, Niall,” Louis mumbles, keeping his voice low. He realizes there’s beer he needs to grab sitting on the counter, and that the world is still going on around them. He wishes he could still time for just a moment, so he could sink right into him. But Niall has his game face on, he straightens up, letting his hand slyly drift down Louis side. There’s a warmth to his gaze, one that makes Louis realize how much he’s missed having someone look at him like that.

Louis’ too aware of his breath, too aware of the feeling that settles in his stomach with Niall this dangerously close to him after this long. Niall pulls his hand away, giving the bartender a charming smile before grabbing the two drinks.

“ _What_ ,” Louis manages to stammer. Everything still feels like it’s moving too fast. Niall’s finally here, and suddenly it feels like after all of this he was losing him again.

“I’ll explain,” Niall promises. He’s always been a man of his words, but Louis can’t help but to furrow his brow.  “Just… give me a few. I’ll come find you.”

Before Louis can argue, Niall’s disappearing back into the crowd.

His stomach turns. He barely manages to grab the beer, ignoring the way they slosh over the mugs as he brings them to Liam and Harry. Concern is clear on their face when he shoves the mugs toward them.

“I’ll be back,” he manages to choke out.

They don’t follow him, and Louis is thankful for that. He searches through the crowd, not knowing if he’s looking for Niall or an exit. He manages to find an exit near the washrooms, one that isn’t as crowded as the main entrance. A relieved breath leaves his lips the moment he slips from the heat of the bar, leaning against the outside wall. He doesn’t bother to check if there’s a way back in when the door closes, he’ll worry about that later.

He closes his eyes, forces himself to take a breath.

His greatest concern had been that something dreadful had happened to Niall. Even with that addressed, Louis doesn’t feel the peace of mind like he had hoped. There’s a tremor to his hands, one that he’s vaguely aware of and wonders if the rest of him is shaking. He needs a cigarette, but they’re in his coat pocket in the bar and he can’t bring himself to try and explain everything quite yet. He lets out another breath, running a hand over his face.

The door opens again. His first assumption is Harry, and he’s about to tell him that he’s fine until he realizes it’s neither of the boys. Niall’s stepping out, shivering a little at the absence of body heat from in the crowded bar.  He rubs his arms before looking over at him, when their eyes meet Louis’ feels like his breath catches in his throat again. “Louis,” Niall breathes.

He straightens up, looking the boy over again. There’s so much he wants to say, but in the moment words fail him. Niall’s still the only thing that can render him speechless, even after all this time. Louis isn’t surprised by the fact. Before he even realizes what he’s doing, he’s taking a few shaky steps toward him, arms snaking around him and hugging him the way he had wanted to when he saw him moments ago.

Niall hugs him back tighter, burying his face in his shoulder.

“You almost had me,” he mumbles into his shoulder. “I almost blew everything right then and there. You’re out, and you’re here. You’re actually here.”

There’s a lump in his throat, one that he tries to swallow back as much as he can. Niall hugs him tighter, and Louis clutches back at him with the same force.

“I missed you so much,” Louis manages to whisper, ignoring the wobble to his words. This was how he imagined it would be when they finally crossed paths again. “You had me going there, you ass.”

Niall laughs watery against his ear, his hand rubbing slow circles over Louis’ back.

“She was right there, I couldn’t just grab you and run. It’d be poor taste, and that would lead to a whole bunch of questions.”

Louis loosens his grip, taking a half step back to properly look at the boy in front of him. He looks good, almost the same as when he had left with the exception of his hair. He runs his hands up his sides, feeling the slight press of his ribs under the thin material of his shirt.

“Who is she? What are you doing?” Louis questions. He tries not to ask too many, but he can’t help it. “You never came to see me.”

Niall looks around, his hands lazily wandering up Louis’ arms.

“Selena… and the rest I can’t tell you here.”

His voice is quiet, and if Louis wasn’t standing as close to him as he was he probably wouldn’t have heard it. It’s an inconvenience, standing out in the alley where everyone can hear them. Questions burn on the tip of his tongue, there’s so many things he wants to know but can’t ask.

“She thinks you’re an old friend back from when I lived in England-“ he pauses, looking up at Louis a bit alarmed, “what about Liam? Harry? Where are they?”

“They’re here,” Louis replies, momentarily distracted by Niall’s hands running over his chest before curling up in his hair. He lets his own hands drift to his hips, squeezing gently. “Both of them.”

Niall’s smile widens, “of course they are.”

“They’re probably wondering where I went. I took off on them,” he trails off when he realizes Niall’s suddenly in his proximity. Louis wraps his arms back around him. He doesn’t trust himself to let go now that he has him settled, two years was far too long.

“Let them wonder,” Niall tells him, leaning on his toes to press his lips firmly against Louis’ for the first time in so long. His argument dies on his tongue, and Louis sinks back into him, losing himself in the feeling of finally being with him after so long.

\--

He hadn’t known what to expect after all this time of being apart. The worry that things would be different, that Niall wouldn’t want him with the same fervor that he always had were concerns that had plagued him since he had been sentenced to two years behind bars. Niall’s hand in his as he leads him back into the bar keeps him grounded. All of his worries seem to have melted away, everything seeming so foolish now. Two years was a window of time that offered too much of a possibility for things to go wrong.

But Niall loved him as much as he knew how. Somehow that love was enough to fuel him on for two years even with Louis gone. His heart is heavy in his chest again when he drops Niall’s hand, leading him back to the table where the other two boys are sitting. Harry spots them before Liam. Louis watches, a bit fascinated, as Harry’s expression brightens up the moment he registers just who happens to be with him.

Everything feels right again, just for a moment where Niall hugs the other two boys and there’s a low mutter of apologies between them. Louis wishes they could all just leave now, put an end to everything and go back how things should have been the moment he had gotten out. Whatever Niall is up to prevents him from doing that, and something turns inside of him at the thought.

He doesn’t like the way this feels. He just wants to go home, because home will finally feel like home again with Niall by his side. Instead he watches Niall as he pulls himself away from them, disappearing back into the crowd with the promise that he’ll return.

Liam’s the first one to speak once Niall appears to be out of earshot.

“I told you he was fine,” he tells Louis, as if there hadn’t been any doubt to it before.

Louis gives him a look, leaning to steal his beer and taking a swig.

“Fuck off.”

Liam’s laughing, sounding more relieved than amused. His laughter quickly dies when Niall returns, but this time he’s not alone.

The girl – Selena, Louis assumes – is with him. She’s got her hand in his, and seems too happy to be meeting them. Louis looks her over, lips pressing together in a thin line.

Niall’s as charming as ever, introducing her without missing a beat.

“I wanted you to meet a few friends of mine from back home. Louis was the one that you bumped into at the bar, and this is Liam and Harry.”

If Harry and Liam are confused, they don’t show it. The two fall into the same routine of greeting her, polite as ever. Louis’ tempted to roll his eyes, but despite the uncomfortable feeling that still lingers in his gut, he knows better. He offers Selena a polite smile, giving her a little nod when she asks the boys how they are.

Louis wishes he hadn’t abandoned his drink at the bar. It would make for something to do with his hands as everyone around him falls into comfortable small talk. His hair prickles at the back of his neck, and he can’t find it in himself to truly engage in the conversation. He can only focus on her, practically choking when Niall scoffs at himself.

“I got a bit ahead of myself, didn’t I? This is my fiancée, Selena.”

The moment he registers what Niall said, his blood feels like it’s drained from his body. His heart quickens in his chest, echoing loud enough in his ears that he feels if the room was silent the others would be able to hear the sound.

“Your fiancée?” He manages, realizing that the words come out more strained than he intended. He reaches to give what he hopes looks like is a pat on the back, but his fingers curl into a fist in the last moment before landing the blow between his shoulders. He feels no satisfaction when Niall jerks at the contact, and narrows his eyes at him when Niall tries his best to laugh it off.

He has a lot of explaining to do, and Louis feels sick. There’s too much that he hadn’t told him, and some sort of warning would have been appreciated. Harry has a bit more tact than him, stepping forward with warm congratulations.

Louis takes another moment to try and compose himself before smiling over at the two.

“Of course, congratulations to the two of you.”

He wants to be sick.

\--

The thing is, Louis knows this is all part of the job. He knows that Niall loves him. He’s disappointed at his initial reaction. He’s supposed to be better than that. Louis can’t help but to slump back into his chair once he’s lost sight of Niall and his supposed fiancé.

“What the fuck,” he says weakly to no one in particular, running his hands over his face.

“I’m guessing you didn’t get a heads up there then, mate,” Liam says lowly. Louis’ thankful that he seems sympathetic, pushing his beer toward him. He definitely needs that now. His fingers curl around the handle as he brings the beverage to his lips, taking a long sip.

“Did I really give myself away that easily?”

“No,” Harry offers. “People are supposed to be surprised by weddings and shit, you’re fine.”

He shakes his head, knocking back the rest of the beer.

“I want to know what he’s up to.”

Liam makes a sound of agreement, looking off across the bar toward where Niall and Selena had disappeared to.

“You’re not the only one.”

Every time Louis feels like he’s found his footing, something knocks him back off balance. It makes sense for it to be the person that makes the world feel like it can stop moving to throw him off balance. Louis forgot that there were days that he worried that Niall made him feel that way. It’s a time that feels so far away now, a time where realizing just how much Niall meant to him was terrifying. It gave him something to lose.

Even though he knew he had him, hearing him say those words left Louis feeling like his entire world had been thrown off tilt. The feeling sits heavy under his skin, and he comes to his own conclusion that he can’t just sit any longer.

“I’ll be back, lads.”

He doesn’t wait for the boys to reply, and clumsily pushes himself up before starting for the washrooms.

Louis tries to study his reflection in the mirror as he washes his hands. The reflection peering back at him resembles something that would be more fitting in a circus house, warped with cracks along the edges. He doesn’t look up when the door opens, and it isn’t until he feels someone standing near him that he looks up.

Niall looks around the bathroom, tongue running over his lips.

“Are we alone?” He questions, voice low.

Louis gives him a weird look.

“Yes.”

Niall reaches back, blindly turning the lock on the door before stepping back close to him.

Louis’ gaze doesn’t falter, staying steady on Niall.

“Are you going to tell me what the hell you’re doing now?”

He shakes his head.

“Not here.”

“Then wh-“

Niall steps close to him, pressing his lips firmly against his. Louis forgets what he was going to ask, wishes he would have thought of this sooner. Wet fingers curl against Niall’s sides, kissing him eagerly now that they’re alone. It’s in a bar bathroom, and usually Louis would pride himself being above that. But it’s Niall with his hands running up his sides, pressing him back against the wall and kissing him breathlessly. Louis suspects that better men than him would do the same in position.

Louis lets himself forget about everything else that’s happening beyond the door. He licks into Niall’s mouth, tongue tracing the back of his teeth and loses himself in the familiarity and need of the moment.

\--

It should feel familiar, the four of them being crammed in a hotel room with a case of beer split between them. Louis remembers the days where this was an ordinary occurrence. It feels anything but ordinary now, with Niall sitting in front of him. He wants to be closer to him, now that he’s gotten a taste of what he’s been missing. Louis can hardly focus on anything else except what he’s been missing.

Louis blinks slowly as Niall tries to go back and explain the past two years. His original job hadn’t gone to plan, and he had just stumbled on an opportunity himself. Selena’s rich, is the thing. Louis could have guessed that, but Niall explains that it’s something different. She has a big inheritance waiting for her once her parents die, not that Niall was planning on waiting that long. All he had wanted to do was charm her enough to get something out of it, but the final prize he’s settled on his bigger than he originally anticipated.

“I didn’t have much of a plan, honest. I should have thought it through a bit more, but I kind of just kept going along with things and now I’m here,” Niall explains. His gaze wanders around the room, but Louis doesn’t miss the way he focuses back on him. “Still don’t. It’s basically just waiting for enough time to be able to get as much money as I can. There’s a lot more politics involved than I hoped, but it’s manageable.”

Louis nods slowly, turning his beer bottle in his hands.

“Are you planning on getting married?” He asks, voice flat.

No matter how many times he reminds himself this is all part of what they do, there’s still the twist in his stomach as he says the words. He’s never been above jealousy, and he feels the tug in his chest harder every time more and more pieces begin to connect together.

Niall watches Louis, pressing his lips together. The silence feels like it drags on longer than it needs to.

“I don’t know. I mean, I should. Easiest way to get into the funds.”

Harry clears his throat, and the attention suddenly shifts to him.

“How can we help?”

Niall’s lips twist into a frown again, brow furrowing. Louis noticed the familiar slouch as he thinks, eyes wandering around the room again as if something might pop out at him to give him the answer he needs.

“I need to figure out what’s worth taking. You’ve always been better at that than I am, Liam. You don’t get so caught up in it all.”

Louis looks over at Liam, listening to Niall as he continues on.

“You know how I am. Always bigger and better, but maybe settling for less would be best now.”

He doesn’t want Niall to be in this for the long haul. Louis knows it’s selfish. He can’t stomach the idea of him waking up beside someone else now that he’s here in front of him. Sinking down in his chair more, he tries to ignore the nausea creeping back into his mind at the thought of Niall with someone else. Even if it isn’t real, it’s always going to sting.

Niall rests his knee against his, and Louis tries to look past his heart stammering in his chest at the simple touch. He curls his hand around his knee after a moment, thumb feeling along the bone beneath the denim.

“I think the quicker you’re out, the better,” Louis pipes up.

Liam chuckles, leaning into the table as much as he can in the limited space.

“I think you’re too close to this to make a call like that, Lou.”

He wants to be offended, but knows Liam’s right.

The chatter continues until the beer is gone, and Harry’s pushing himself up to try and clear the cramped kitchenette as well as he possibly can.

Louis doesn’t pay attention to the banter now, eyes staying fixed on Niall again. Niall shifts a little under his gaze, letting silence fall between him and Liam before returning his attention to Louis.

“Wanna go for a walk?”

Niall doesn’t wait for an answer. He starts for the door, telling Harry and Liam they’ll be back later. Louis shakes his head fondly, pushing himself up and stepping along after him.

\--

“I think you’d really like it here. Under different circumstances, of course.”

He’s too aware of how close Niall is. Their shoulders brush ever few steps, and Louis just wants to reach out and curl his fingers between his. He keeps his hands shoved deep in his pockets, it gives him a distraction from how much he wants to reach out and lace his fingers between Niall’s.

“Maybe.”

Niall gives him a little nudge.

“You would.”

Louis can’t disagree, he can see where Niall’s coming from. The city seems nice, the streets quiet now that the sun disappeared and the chill of the night set in.

“Probably,” he agrees.

He’d settle anywhere where Niall is though. Louis feels the words on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn’t let himself say it. He knows it’ll just make things harder.

“How have you been, honest?” Niall asks.

Louis looks over at Niall a bit surprised.

“It’s been a weird month.”

Niall grins at him, all teeth.

“Tell me about it.”

It takes him a beat longer than it should to realize that Niall means the words literally.

“I don’t know,” Louis says quietly, “I got out of prison after two years and find out the most important person to me has been missing basically since I’ve been in there. Then I found out he’s, in theory, engaged to someone else. It’s weird.”

Niall’s face falls a little. He links his arm through Louis’, pulling him down a side street. He isn’t sure how Niall keeps managing to get them into this position.

“You know I would have been there every day if I could have.”

“I know,” Louis sighs.

“And you know I love you. You know this is nothing.”

“I know,” he repeats.

“It’ll be worth it, Lou. We’re going to have so much money. All of this is going to be worth it.”

“I hope so.”

Niall gives him a look, “it will.”

He’s standing in front of him now, hands curling around his shoulders firmly.

“We’ll have everything we’ve ever _dreamed_ of. Just you wait.”

Louis smiles a little, “isn’t that what we always say?”

“But this time, we’ll actually have the money.”

Louis’ tongue runs over his lips. The thought sends a shiver down his spine. The money, the only reason any of them ever got themselves into this mess. Niall smiles at him, a genuine smile that has him weak in the knees again. He missed him so much, missed all of this so much. Louis leans to press his lips against Niall’s. The kiss is eager, frantic – there’s two years to make up for. He curls his hand through his hair, trying to lose himself in the feeling of lips. But Louis can’t forget about the world around them this time, because all too soon Niall is pulling away in a murmur of apologies of how he should get back before it’s too late.

All he wants it to go with Niall, back to a world where things make sense and this doesn’t exist. He doesn’t let Niall walk him back like he wants, just assures him that he can find his way back after a few goodbye kisses. The streetlights and his shadow keep him company as he walks along, though can’t help to spare a few glances over his shoulder in some sort of hope that Niall will be there.

\--

The next few weeks pass faster than Louis realizes. He falls back into the same routine with the boys; going out and trying to explore the city while piecing together some sort of plan. Their current plan still has loopholes, but it’s the best they’ve come up with so far. Once Niall gets proper access to the bank accounts, Liam thinks they should make their move then. It’s up in the air how long it will take, and Louis doesn’t like it. There’s a lot he doesn’t like about the situation, but he doesn’t say much. It’s the best plan they have, despite the risks that go with it. It’s all gone on too long for their not to have any risks. Quick and painless is the thought behind it all, but there’s nothing quick and painless about this entire situation.

If Louis wasn’t so selfish, he would feel bad for Selena.

She’s kind, she’s smart – Louis can see why Niall had been intrigued in the first place (not that he lets himself think about it for too long). He wishes she was awful, wishes she was vain and daft so he had a good reason to hate her. She’s none of those things, and she’s all too fond of Niall. Louis hates it. He hates too much about this entire situation, but he refuses to go anywhere without Niall.

He couldn’t leave, even if he wanted to. Being here with Niall made it all worth it, even if there were moments were it was hardly bearable to see him with someone else. They survived two years, they’d easily survive this. Louis just had to keep reminding himself that in the end, this would all be worth it. When it comes to Niall, it was all worth it. No matter how long it takes.

\--

A month and a half has passed since they all settled down and agreed to this plan. Louis’ beginning to get restless. Things feel like they’re moving too slowly. He doesn’t want to wait until the _wedding_ for Niall to get the money that he wants. He doesn’t want to have to sit through that. It’s all taking too long, and opening the possibility of too many trails that they’re going to have to cut behind them. There’s no way to make a clean break now. It’s a heavy feeling, the realization – one that doesn’t leave. It’s sunk into his nerves, gotten into his blood and Louis doesn’t even notice that it’s there half the time.

Niall’s sitting in front of him after a week of persisting they go to his favorite café. It wasn’t that Louis hadn’t wanted to go, it was far from that. Niall had a lot going on, some sort of social life that Louis didn’t want to get too involved in. Selena had a lot of friends – friends that wanted to do things like go out on a Friday night and include their significant others with them. Niall was a good sport about it all, of course – he was always the better one with people. Louis always admired his patience when it came to people. It’s what made this possible, it was what made a lot of their other jobs possible.

He can’t take his eyes off his companion, watches him as he tips his head back in his chair. The sun had made a brief appearance a few days before, and Louis can tell by the slight flush to his cheeks that never left. A half-finished pint sits in front of him, tucked beside a sandwich a few bites away from being finished. Louis looks down at his own food, barely touched because Niall being there is far too distracting.

“Have you guys gone to any of the museums yet? Harry would appreciate those, I think,” Niall asks, brow furrowing as he contemplates his words.

“I think he and Liam might’ve gone already. Harry was saying something about some art museum earlier.”

“And you didn’t?”

Louis raising his eyebrows at him.

“Museums aren’t my speed.”

Niall’s grinning, clearly pleased with that.

Louis can’t look away, watching the boy fondly for a long moment. He’s dyed his hair back now, but the brunette creeps up the side of his head. He likes the look, it’s more familiar – doesn’t leave him feeling like things are as different as they feel.

Niall’s leaning close to him, resting his elbows on the table. He isn’t surprised that he noticed the way he’s watching him. He’s never been discreet about Niall, and Niall is all too observant.

“What?”

Louis shakes his head, “nothing.”

 “You going to finish that?” Niall questions, nodding toward his food.

“I was getting there.”

Niall’s chair scrapes the pavement as he scoots closer. Louis offers him a little smile, trying to ignore the concern in his gaze.

“Do you not like it?”

“No, it’s good.”

Niall doesn’t look convinced.

“It is,” Louis repeats, “I’m not super hungry right now, but it’s good.”

Niall reaches for the half Louis had been eating. He doesn’t ask, he doesn’t have to. “Well, no sense in wasting it. You should have the other half though. Seriously, it’s incredible. It reminds me of that place back in Jersey. Remember when we were in America?”

Louis couldn’t forget even if he tried. “Of course I remember when we were in America. We were both right out of our stupid uni course and Harry just wanted to go to New York.”

It doesn’t feel like years have passed. He remembers all too well the bustling streets of New York and the way Harry had his eyes set on New York since before he could remember. It had been their first destination, the place that had given them a nudge into the life they dreamed of. It was all bright flashy lights, a taste of everything they had ever wanted.

“We’ll be back one day,” Niall says, a grin finding its way back on his lips. There’s a brightness to his voice that hadn’t been there earlier. “Sooner than you think.”

“One day,” he echoes.

Niall finishes the half of the sandwich he had taken from Louis, leaning closer to give him another nudge with his elbow. “What?”

“What, what?”

Louis doesn’t know what he means by that.

“You don’t seem that enthusiastic, I dunno.”

“It’s not going to be that easy to get back to America. I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon.”

He’s usually the one all the ideas, the one that gets told things might not happen. He doesn’t know where it comes from. It’s the feeling that’s set into his bones since he’s been there, the reluctantness to go along with everything happening around him.

“Well, not any time _soon._ ”

“Not a honeymoon destination?”

Louis knows he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help himself.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Everyone has all these great plans in theory, Niall. We’re sitting around for too long.”

Louis looks around the patio. They’re the only ones out there, but he can’t help a sweeping look to make sure no one else is around. He doesn’t want to be overheard, even if it isn’t something that anyone would really clue into what they were talking about. Letting his guard down isn’t an option. That was the mistake that had gotten himself into jail originally. A lack of patience. A moment where his judgement hadn’t been at best.

“I know it _feels_ like a long time. I know it’s hard,” Niall tells him. He nibbles on his lower lip, eyes looking anywhere but Louis in the moment. “It’s going to be _so_ worth it though.”

“It’s been over a year now, Niall. You’ve had over a year to do this.”

“It’s amazing I even managed to _get_ this far,” Niall hisses. His voice is low now, staring over at him.

“What were you planning on doing if you didn’t? I got out and no one had _heard_ from you Niall.”

The tones changed now. Louis almost feels bad for disturbing the peaceful afternoon they had been having. But it’s something that’s been sitting in his chest for too long, something that’s been constantly nagging at him. A constant mantra in the background despite his best effort to ignore it the constant doubts becoming some sort of white noise in his mind.

“I don’t know, Louis. When the other job didn’t work out I had full intention on going back.” Niall runs a hand through his hair, making eye contact with him now. “But I saw an opportunity, Louis. I saw something for _us_. I know I didn’t visit, I couldn’t visit. I didn’t forget about you.”

“I never said you forgot about me,” Louis snaps. “I thought something happened to you, Niall. They had _no_ idea where you were. You could have written, you could have done something.”

Niall’s lips twist, “all the mail is scanned. I couldn’t do that.”

“You could have at least just said you were okay!”

Niall slumps down in his chair.

“I don’t know what you want me to do, Louis. I didn’t know what to do without you! I was trying to do something good. It’s going to be good if you’ll just give it more time! I know it’s hard to wait. We’re here now, we’re both okay.”

Louis sighs quietly. He doesn’t have the energy to fight with him over this. Not Niall, he didn’t mean to try and pick this fight. He knows there’s no point in beating the point, but he can’t help the tightness in his chest.  There’s a long moment of silence where he can feel the tension breaking down around them. He almost apologizes, but he doesn’t. He means what he said.

“It’s supposed to be you and me,” he tells him, just barely above a whisper.

Niall looks up at him, reaching across the table to rest his hand on his.

“It will be. You just need to trust me.”

\--

Niall’s pacing. Louis isn’t sure why. His lips are pursed anxiously, a hand occasionally finding its way through his hair. He’s asked what’s wrong a few times now, but never got an answer. Just a huff, a shrug – something that counts as a reply but dismisses the question. It’s enough to have him sitting up straighter, every fiber in his body on high alert. He’s ready to grab whatever he can and abandon the cream walls of the motel. He’s been itching to leave, staying in the same place for this amount of time felt like the weight of risk was too much.

It feels like an eternity of watching Niall wander around the room before he finally turns to look at him. Hs cheeks have a slight pink tint to them, settling his gaze on Louis a bit too wide eyed for comfort.

“I think Selena’s on to us.”

The question lingers in the air. There’s a lot of things the statement could mean. Louis cocks his head at Niall, pushing himself up from the tiny dining room table.

“What do you mean?”

Niall sucks his lips between his teeth, gaze steady on Louis. “On to us. Like, I think someone must have saw us or something. She’s clever, she asks a lot of questions without being _direct_.”

Niall’s careful, he always has been. Louis doesn’t know where or how someone could have seen them enough to speculate something of the sort. There was the odd times that he let Louis sneak his fingers between his when they walked along the streets, but they were generally bare and away from people. Niall never let it go for too long, always squeezing his hand before releasing his grip with a quiet string of apologies under his breath.

“What has she said, then?”

“She’s asked a lot of questions about you. She’s smart, Lou. She’s kind of brilliant, actually. She hasn’t exactly _said_ anything specifically. I can just tell by the way she asks things. I don’t know.”

“Are you _sure_ though?”

Judging by the look Niall gives him, Louis shouldn’t have asked.

“Of course I’m sure. She’s suspicious. We don’t have room for suspicion, it’ll ruin everything. I’m not having two years of work go to shit for nothing.”

Louis raises his eyebrows, “so then what?”

Niall runs a hand over his face.

“I don’t know.”

He’s finally sitting beside Louis again, flopping down less than gracefully into the seat beside him. He leans into the dip of the couch, Niall’s weight finding his side and curling into him almost instantly. There were a few options, Louis decides.

“Aborting mission isn’t an option, hey?” Louis asks, laughing a little. He knows the answer to that, Niall’s spent far too long chasing at the end goal with blunt determination. Giving up will never be an option, not when Niall has the fate of this all in his hands.

Niall shakes his head, just as Louis expects.

“No.”

He’s pushing himself up again, and Louis removes the arm that he’s slung around his shoulders. Niall paces another circle around the room, turning abruptly on his heels to look at Louis.

“We can’t wait. It’s going to take too long. I know there’s only a few months left but we need to do something now.”

Louis tilts his head at Niall as he saunters closer to him.

“Now?” He echoes. He’s ready to go, he’s been here for far too long. They’ve never been ones to stay in the same place for long. Niall’s managed two years in the same place, it’s probably the longest one of them has stayed without straying. Louis doesn’t count his incarceration, that hadn’t exactly been a position where he could have left.

“Not… now. But soon. We just don’t have the time. I want this to work, I don’t want to have wasted all this time for nothing. I need to pull it off, it’s the biggest thing I’ve ever done,” Niall tells him. His eyes are bright, Louis’ figured out a while ago how much this meant to Niall. His eyebrows furrow together as he stands in front of Louis.

“We need to go, Lou. I just need to find the right time. We need to run just like we always talked about.”

Louis raises his eyebrows at him, swallowing hard. It’s the way that he says we that has his stomach turn, there’s something about his tone that he doesn’t question. He knows what he means, but he doesn’t bring himself to ask for clarification.

They need to go somewhere quiet, somewhere far from here. They always talked about making it big and leaving, going somewhere no one could find them and have some sort of life together. A hope that he had quietly tucked away, the world never seemed to be in their favour. The reality of it sends a shiver down his spine, Louis is almost dizzy with the feeling.

“Just like we always dreamed about,” he tells Niall lowly. He forgets the worry that was inching its way into his thoughts as Niall folds easily into his lap, fingers curling in the hair above his ears.

“We can go anywhere we want, as far as we want,” Niall murmurs back. He leans in to press his lips against Louis’, short and sweet. He takes in a quiet breath before breathing out, “just like we always dreamed about.”

\--

The faint smell of garlic and cheese wafts through the room, and Louis tries to memorize the moment. Harry’s stirring some sort of pasta sauce, watching the boys with bright eyes from the tiny kitchenette they’ve still managed to cram into. Liam is talking lowly to Niall, going over some aspects of the plan he had so proudly developed. Niall’s nodding along, grinning a little at some of the comments that Liam makes along the way.

“I think the sooner we do it after you get back, the better,” Liam explains, leaning over a notepad with messy scrawl across the pages. He’s clearly been putting a lot of thought into it. Clever, as always. Louis watches Liam for a moment before his gaze travels to Niall, there’s a moment where their eyes meet and he feels his chest tighten. The atmosphere in the room is comfortable, familiar. For the first time in a long time, Louis feels like he’s at home again. He doesn’t bask in the feeling for too long, knows better than to get attached to it again. Home never lasts long, but he knows to take the moments where he can. He knows what he needs to make somewhere feel like home, knows that with everything being so up in the air for the past two years that it won’t feel too weird settling somewhere else.

The sound of laughter echoes through the room, a joke that he’s managed to miss. His stomach turns, and he makes a note to remember the sound. Louis closes his eyes and does his best to swallow back his guilt. This is just something they have to do. Sometimes people get hurt, sometimes people get left behind. It’s something they all know and understand. They have a plan now. It’s too late to turn around.

\--

“Do you think a wedding rehearsal is going to make it any less weird watching the wedding?”

Harry’s voice interrupts the sound of Louis’ heart hammering in his chest. His friend is standing there, lazily buttoning up a shirt. It’s a typical Harry thought. His lips twitch into the slightest smile, there’s always a softness to Harry that never seems to leave. He and Liam have always been the most considerate people he’s met.

“Probably not,” Louis replies.

No amount of time would ever allow him to get used to the idea of Niall with someone else. The past few months have been long, dragged out torture. He can’t think about it anymore, can’t think about how someone else believed that they had Niall the same way he did, can’t think about how someone may have thought for just a minute that they knew Niall just as well as Louis. He doesn’t have to think about it anymore, he can go on and allow himself to leave it all behind. He lets out a slow breath, trying to shake the feeling of it all. He wants to forget, knows he won’t be able to but he holds onto the same mantra that one day he’ll forget that any of this happened.

“It’ll be over before you know it, mate,” Liam says, breaking the silence. He’s the first ready to go, standing by the door with his hands in his pockets.

“Thank God for that.”

Louis sucks his lip between his teeth. Guilt is a heavier feeling than he remembers, it weighs him down and almost lets him question what they’re doing. “How about you two head down there? I just need a minute. There’s no sense for all of us to be late.”

It takes a bit of convincing before the boys finally agree, but not until Harry steps forward to wrap him up in a tight hug. Louis hugs him back tighter than he should, buries his face in his shoulder. Guilt plagues him again, and Louis wishes it would leave him alone. The feelings persistent, like something that is going to stick with him no matter where he goes. He hugs him tighter than he should, and he knows Harry notices it by the way he squeezes him back just as hard.

He almost wants to tell him that he doesn’t deserve the comfort, but Harry doesn’t know. Neither of them know.

It isn’t until Harry’s back by the door that he smiles at the two of them, feeling dangerously close to losing his composure.

“Thanks, guys. I’ll see you soon.”

He manages to hold it together, keep his shoulders back until they’ve stepped back out the door. His posture changes the moment he hears the lock click, and he runs a hand over his face. He doesn’t want to do this to them, worries that they’re going to have to take the fall in all of this. They’re smart, maybe they’ll figure out that they need to leave before suspicion rises. It’s what he decides to believe in, some sort of hope to hold on while everything else feels like it’s starting to slip away.

He can’t leave any explanation, he can’t explain to them that they have to leave. This is their chance, this is everything he and Niall have always dreamed of. He can’t let go of it now. Panic slowly edges its way into his thoughts as he looks around the room for something, anything to write some sort of apology so maybe he’ll be able to sleep at some point this week. The only thing he finds is a crumpled napkin. It’s better than nothing, and Louis tries to write as neatly as he can with shaking hands.

 _Sorry, lads. We’ll see you soon_.

It’s probably a lie, but it makes him feel like he’s about to lose the contents of his stomach a little bit less.

\--

When Louis steps out of the cab, Niall’s waiting outside. His hair styled back carefully, jaw set tight – he doesn’t have to step any closer to him to feel the anxiety. He stands so brightly against the building, and Louis gravitates toward him like he’s the sun.

“You ready?” Niall asks, voice low. There’s an urgency to his tone that Louis hasn’t heard in a long time. It sends a shiver down the spine, lets the adrenaline set in and begin to suffocate the guilt back to his later thoughts.

“Of course.”

Niall takes his hand, leads him through the doors. It’s a fleeting moment, before Louis can even register the feeling of their fingers intertwined Niall’s dropping his hand.

“Wait for me,” he tells him before disappearing down the hall. Louis watches him go, letting his eyes wander to the room where he knows people are waiting for them. One last glance is almost tempting, just one last quiet see you soon – but he knows he can’t. It would give them away, it would complicate things. Louis lets out a slow breath and counts to five, turns on his heel and starts for the door again. He can’t stand in the hall any longer. The temptation is almost magnifying, and he can’t let himself be pulled into a messy goodbye or anything that will give this up. They’re running close on time as it is.

He squints once he’s back outside, eyes taking a moment to adjust to the bright light despite the lingering clouds outside. Niall’s rounding the building just as he steps outside. There’s a moment where they fall into step side by side, walking quickly down the path. Louis isn’t entirely sure where they’re going right now, this had always been the dubious part of their plan. Everything from here makes sense, once they figure out how they manage to leave.

A pair of keys is being forced in his hands, and he looks down at them.

“You didn’t wait, but this works better,” Niall tells him lowly, ushering him toward the parking lot.

“I couldn’t stand in there any longer,” he breathes, letting himself be guided toward the sleek black car in the parking lot.

“I said I forgot something in the car. We need to go _quick_.”

The hair on the back of his neck raises at the urgency, and he clumsily manages to unlock the door.

“Why am I _driving_.”

He can’t remember the last time he’s driven, but his body is working faster than his brain now. Fingers clipping the seatbelt on before turning the key in the ignition. The engine rumbles to life, and he looks over at Niall before shifting the car into drive.

“Because-“ Niall starts, a bit breathlessly. “I know the place best. I can get in, get everything we need and get out in hopefully under ten minutes.” He shifts in his seat, and Louis steps on the gas harder. He lets the car accelerate, doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath as Niall speaks.

“I need to disable the security cameras, so that might bump us to fifteen. They’ll see us pull in, but it’ll buy us some time since they won’t know what’s missing right away. I think I got the cameras figured this week.”

Normally, Louis would appreciate the colours of the sun tucking behind the horizon. The bright pastels sit high in the sky, and normally the picture would be calming. The promise of nightfall offers them a bit more protection, offers them the nostalgia of late night break ins to try and ease the anxiety.

Niall reaches into the dashboard console, ruffling through a few things. “I have tickets. I managed to get them cheap enough. It’ll get us to Guatemala, then we can figure out what to do from their there.” He shoves the plane tickets in the front of the gear shift, and Louis can hear him ruffling through the contents again. “I still… had your passport from when we were supposed to come here. I think it’ll do us enough good to get us there. Mine should be okay, I hope.” Niall chews at his lip anxiously, dropping the passport in Louis’ lap despite him being occupied by the road in front of them. There isn’t time for things to go wrong.

“It’s just going to happen fast. I want us to be ready. We’re going to have to ditch the car somewhere. I know a few places we can at least try and snatch a vehicle that’ll get us to Berlin.”

Louis’ missed this, the way Niall talks once he’s got something figured out. He’s hung on every word, wishing that he could listen to him forever and not have to properly focus on the task at hand. His heart seems to beat faster in his chest with every road they round, knowing they’re getting closer to what they need.

“God, Lou. We’re actually doing it, just like we said we always would. I think by the time we get out of Berlin they’ll probably start to wonder, you know? Try and blame it on wedding nerves, or something. They think I’m good, they think I’m so good that they won’t suspect a thing right away.”

Louis hopes he’s right, everything seems too perfect and somewhere underneath the adrenaline, he worries this’ll blow up in their faces.

“I know Guatemala isn’t the best place. It isn’t _quite_ what we wanted, but it felt like the last place anyone would look.” Niall’s grabbing the tickets again, running his fingers over the envelope. “We can figure something out from there though, can’t we? I don’t know how long we’ll need to be there for, but it’s the safest place – no one will _want_ to look there.”

The way he says it implies there’s a risk to them being there, but risk is nothing new to them. He pulls up to the front gate of the mansion, unrolling the window. Niall’s suddenly pressed close to him, whispering the code with his lips pressed too close to his ear for it to be an accident. Louis fights back a shiver, clumsily hits the buttons before pulling into the driveway.

Time seems to go by all too slow and all too fast at the same time. Niall’s lips are on his neck, murmuring that he’ll be back and not to worry. There’s a quiet exchange of _I love you_ ’s that linger between them. Louis watches Niall slip from the car, jog up the front steps before disappearing inside. He wishes he could go with him. Sitting alone offers him too much time to think, too much time to feel sorry about anything. He digs the burner phone out of his pocket, heart swelling in his chest at the missed call and text messages that already light up the screen. It’s tempting to turn the phone off, to eliminate the temptation to check any messages and give them away.

He doesn’t doubt if he should go with him, Louis knows he wouldn’t let Niall go alone. He’s not letting him go again. The days had dragged on without Niall, and now that he has him back, he won’t let him go. Even if that means he has to leave the others behind. As much as he tries to ignore the guilt and tells himself they’d do the same, that they had practically turned their back on Niall – he can’t quite swallow it back. There has always been an unspoken promise between him and Niall since the first day, a quiet promise that they would follow each other wherever they went. He isn’t going to live without him again, he isn’t going to put himself through the agony of it all for someone else’s expense.

The neon lights on the dash don’t change fast enough for him. It feels like hours drag on before Niall’s scrambling out of the mansion, a backpack slung off his shoulders and a few things tucked under his arm. He throws a sweater at Louis once he clambers in the car, cheeks touched with a pink glow and his eyes even brighter.

“I got enough,” he gasps. “Enough that it won’t seem too god damn suspicious, but things that will sell for good money. I grabbed as much cash as I could, too. Fuck, I know this isn’t as much as we wanted but it’s enough to get us by. It’s enough to get us what we’ve ever wanted, Lou.”

Niall shoves the backpack down by his feet, looking at it with a mixture of fondness and pride. Louis’ about to put the car back into drive when Niall’s putting a hand on his. “Can I drive, actually? I can’t just sit.”

Louis almost argues, but climbs out of the car wordlessly with the sweater tucked under his arm. His legs feel clumsy as he climbs into the other side, watching Niall as he climbs over the console into the seat.

“I feel kind of bad,” Louis says, not realizing he’s speaking. “For leaving them behind. I think they’ll figure it out. They’re both clever.” He doesn’t tell him about the simple note he left behind, rather leaves it for a secret to try and ease everything clouding his mind.

Niall laughs, “they’ve probably already figured it out. Liam’s a lot quicker than he lets on, you know that.”

Louis tries to find comfort in his words, but fails to. One of Niall’s hands finds his knee, squeezing firmly. He drops his hand on top of Niall’s, feeling the same warmth that had been there since the first day they clumsily held hands. He watches the headlights guide the way, the roads beginning to have less and less houses as they further away from the city. He knows Niall’s driving fast, but he doesn’t dare look at the speedometer.  It’s a weird feeling that’s settled over him, a cocktail of an eerie calmness, excitement and anticipation that they might truly pull this off.

It was the selfish plan they always dreamed of, the one they held close to just the two of them. Both of them together, against the world with endless possibilities. There was always a part of him that knew one day it would come down to this, a day where they would part with Liam and Harry. It had always seemed so much easier when everything had simply been in theory. But this was what they always wanted, and it spread a certain warmth through Louis despite the coolness of the air slipping through the cracks in the windows. It was the good life, just like they had always dreamed of.

The faint light from the dashboard casts shadows across Niall’s face, but Louis can see his face in perfect clarity when he looks over at him. He looks alive, for the first time since Louis’ been back, truly alive. He realizes for the first time since before he got arrested, that he feels it too. The feeling that nothing can touch them settles back in, the feeling that they both had thrived off of for so long. “I told you,” Niall tells him with a grin, breaking the quiet that had crept between them like the still darkness of the night.  

“I _told_ you that it’d be you and me.”


End file.
